NRL 2018 - Round 21

There's not much going on in the league world at the moment.  I guess that kind of thing will happen when you ban Todd Carney.  It doesn't help that Josh Dugan has been injured for the best part of 20 years and hasn't been able to get into as much trouble as usual.  Some say that he's still gingerly nursing a hangover on the couch to this day.  

Congratulations to Big Mal Meninga for being named as an "Immortal" during the week.  Introduction into the Immortals group was going to be between Mal and Darren Lockyer but then Mal just said "I'll fucken smash youse" and the decision was made.

I'm not arguing

So Mal joins an elite group of players including Norm Provan, Dally Messenger, Clive Churchill, Johnny Raper and Arthur Beetson, and rumour has it that the Roosters have offered two-year contracts to four of those players.    

Round 21

Canterbury Bulldogs vs Brisbane Broncos

It really would be the most Broncos thing to do if they lost this game.  Despite winning last week against a lazy, possibly super-stoned Tigers opposition, the Dogs are done, man.  Like, stick a fork in them kind of done.  Sooo done.  Like Ross and Rachel kind of done.  Are people still comparing things to Ross and Rachel?  You know who I never liked?  Rachel.  Also, Monica.

Newcastle Knights vs Wests Tigers

Carn you fucken Knights, hey?  I have no idea why, but I’m riding Newy home in this one.  It’s not personal though – I don’t think I could name three players from either side.  Ponga, Guerra, Shaun Kenny-Dowall.  Benji, Farah, Elijah Taylor.  Turns out I was wrong.

South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Melbourne Storm

PHROAR WHAT A GAME THIS SHOULD BE if Souths bother turning up for a fucken change.  They won’t be able to fuck about like they did last week before they start taking the game seriously.  I’m going for Melbourne; they looked pretty shit hot last week.

St George Dragons vs NZ Warriors

As is tradition, the Dragons were looking all fucking razzle dazzle and completely unbeatable early in the year and are now on a perfect downward trajectory into Shitsville, which just happens to be the current residence of the Warriors, who have decided to move into their spiritual home.  Both teams look like they would rather be anywhere doing anything rather than knocking about a footy field.  I reckon the Saints will wake up just enough to scrape through with a 20-point drubbing.

Parramatta Eels vs Gold Coast Titans

NOBODY CARES.  Somehow, the Titans are still a chance to make the finals.  I mean, they won’t, but there’s a chance.  But it won’t happen.  But they’ll win this game. 

Sydney Roosters vs North Queensland Cowboys

Nobody’s giving the Cowbs much of a chance in this game, which makes sense because they are absolute garbage at the moment and deserve to feel bad about themselves.  The Roosters have finally decided to flex their flexing muscles and are actually looking dominant against quality opposition.  I guess it just goes to show that if you have enough money and are willing to cheat, good things will happen to you.

Cronulla Sharks vs Manly Sea Eagles

No offence to either of these teams, but I hope there’s a fire in the stadium while they're playing and everyone gets burned to death and dies but then everyone makes a miraculous recovery and they all come back to life and they go on to live long and fulfilling lives but they never play football again. 

Penrith Panthers vs Canberra Raiders

Let’s have a wander down memory lane:

In Round 9 in 2016, the Panthers snuck in a field goal in the 78th minute to beat the Raiders 19-18.

In Round 14 in 2017, the Panthers scored twice in the last two minutes to defeat the Raiders 24-20. 

In Round 24 in 2017, a late try gave the Panthers a 26-22 win over the Raiders.

In Round 14 this year, the Panthers drummed up 7 points in the last five minutes to sneak past the raiders 23-22.

Fucking Raiders.