In nature, there are traditionally two schools of thought on how best to survive in the wild - fight or flight. Basically explained, it describes how you would react in a confrontation; depending on your position in the food chain, it might be better to evade predators by running or flying away, climbing a tree, or hiding. For others, they have found that the best form of defense is attack, and will use their size or strength to overcome a predator. An antelope, for instance, will run away when a lion is sniffing around, whereas a rhinoceros would most likely challenge a predator to a bit of argy-bargy instead of resorting to a quick jog to safety.
In the NRL, players have a similar approach to their work. Some are more adept at flight, such as Josh Addo-Carr, who is roughly on par with The Flash, while others like Josh Papalli would prefer to just knock over anyone in his path.
There are certain special players though, who possess both the fight and flight instincts, such as Chad Townsend. Chad made headlines this week following his "tackle" on Kalyn Ponga during last week's loss to Newcastle. I have included a clip below. note: I have been made aware that some video clips aren't showing up on mobile phones when accessing this blog, so you might be wondering what the fuck I'm talking about when I slip a video in. I don't know what to do, I've asked Bill Gates, Zuckerberg and that Wozniak bloke to look into it.
When questioned about his controversial hit on Ponga, which was performed from an offside position, in an illegal shoulder-charge, was aimed at the head, and delivered after the play had actually been stopped, Chad's response was that he was startled by the referee's whistle, and he leapt into the air just as Ponga was coming towards him. He braced for impact and that's what caused the ugly contact. So what we have here, nature lovers, is Chad Townsend attempting to take off and fly away from danger while simultaneously attacking the head of the person or object nearest to him. It's a unique evolutionary trait, and is probably slightly more useful than flinging poo at people.
There is an argument, however, that if the sound of a whistle scares you that much, maybe being a professional football player is not the best career choice. Other jobs Chad should avoid in the future include directing traffic, being a marching band instructor, train conductor, anything to do with birds, and playing Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music.
Round 18
Wests Tigers vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
The Rabbits were very impressive last week, and should carry on the job again this round. I am expecting them to sprint out to a 20-0 lead before ordinary defensive efforts close to the line let the Tigers back into it. Alex Johnston is usually a good bet to score a bunch of tries, but will probably lose control of a simple pass with an unchecked path to the tryline with about five minutes to go. Nevertheless, the Bunnies will hold on and probably win by 2.
Canterbury Bulldogs vs Manly Sea Eagles
The fairytale we all want is for the Broncos to win their first ever Wooden Spoon, and in order for that to happen, the Bulldogs need to win at least one more game. It's up to Manly to keep the dream alive, but because it's Manly, they'll probably win this game to annoy everyone.
Penrith Panthers vs Parramatta Eels
The Panthers put on a deadset training run last week, and still managed to comfortably win, rarely spreading the ball to their strike players and just hitting the ball up for some safe, albeit boring, football. Hopefully this week they try to stave off the snoozefest and pump the everliving fuck out of the Eels.
St George Dragons vs Mighty Fuckoff Canberra Raiders
The Dragons are not to be underestimated - they have managed to put in some decent performances this year, and have been mostly competitive despite, you know, losing a lot. I'm hoping that the Raiders use this game as an opportunity to bounce back from last week's disappointing loss and fuck some shit up.
Gold Coast Titans vs Brisbane Broncos
It's a true battle for Queensland supremacy as the perennial "little brother" Titans aim to continue the season of woe for the wonky donkey Broncos. I'm predicting a huge step up from Brissy this week, and I feel terrible, but I am going to tip them. I'm sorry. I feel like I've let everyone down.
Sydney Roosters vs Newcastle Knights
The Roosters struggled through 70 minutes of football last week, relying on Sonny Bill Williams to come on for 10 minutes to inspire them. I think most people in the world were in awe of SBW, to be honest, including people who have never seen him before, or even know what rugby league is. Fun fact: Sonny Bill can cure coronavirus and restore people's faith in Christmas simply by sitting on the bench all game.
Melbourne Storm vs North QLD Cowboys
This one could get embarrassing for the Cows. Here's hoping.
Cronulla Sharks vs New Zealand Warriors
Carn you Warriors. Everyone's favourite "they're not my team, but I hope they do well" team, while Cronulla are quickly becoming everyone's favourite "they're not Manly, but I hate them just as much" team. Both teams are still vying for a spot in the finals, and to be honest, it won't matter which one makes it through as they will be eliminated in the first round anyway. But uh... go Warriors.
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