On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Eight cancelled shows

Lipstick Jungle – this attempted to cash in on the popularity of the Sex and the City movie. Strangely, the fact that people enjoyed one tv show about 40-year old women who have sex in New York didn’t necessarily mean they’d like another show about 40-year old women who have sex in New York. Perhaps the writers shouldn’t have just changed the characters names, and actually written a show. Odd concept, that.

90210 – it was cancelled until Channel 10 had no choice but to cut their costs and put it back on the air... and then cancel it again. It’s so close to falling into the “so bad it’s good” category, but is hovering around the “it’s just bad” bin at the moment. Again, it shows that TV and Hollywood producers have the imagination of a sock by rehashing ideas that were good... twenty years ago.

Big Brother – I guess it was inevitable. The mighty BB juggernaut came crashing to a halt fairly suddenly. The four people who watched it were devastated. It was probably about time for this one to be put to rest (you’re next, Idol), but I have no doubt that this puppy will come back in a couple of years.

The Starter Wife was promoted fairly heavily at the beginning of the year. It was about a chick who was starting her life over following the break-up of her marriage. It wrapped up fairly quickly as she found a new love in the third episode. There was cheering in the street when that happened, I tell you. Or at least, there would have been, if anyone had bothered watching it.

Taken Out – this show wasn’t half as bad as it should have been. Some bloke from Foxtel hosted thirty singles who voted themselves in or out for a date with another single as pieces of their life were slowly revealed. Trashy, tacky and completely watchable; mainly due to the snide comments from the host and the complete bitchiness of the contestants.

Women’s Murder Club – just what we need; another fucking crime show. This one has a twist though – it’s all about chicks. If you’ve just finished watching an episode of CSI, just pop this program on and you can watch it again as it would be if it was performed by a troupe of all-female amateur actors. Don’t just take my word for it; ask the three people who watched it for more than thirty seconds - they would have told you it was shit too.

Canal Road was doomed from the get-go. For one, it billed itself as a ‘gritty Aussie drama series’, which means that it’s going to die really quickly. This was later confirmed as it went to the ‘gritty’ timeslot of 9:30pm on Thursday, then the ‘even grittier’ 10:30pm Tuesday slot, then it popped up at randomly gritty times when the movie of the week finished early, then it just grittily disappeared. The show itself had about as much grit as a cheese sandwich, but good on ‘em for giving it a bash. One day, Australia will actually produce a decent television show.

Out of the Blue at time of writing hasn’t been cancelled, but it can’t be too long before it is. Holy fuck this show is bad. The most entertaining part is trying to work out which ads the actors have appeared in, rather than try and work out who killed who. It’s poorly written, and seems to have an emphasis on getting people who look like they should be on Neighbours to say ‘shit.’ Another fine example of an Aussie TV show that’s made purely to keep the domestic content on track.

Eight cancelled shows, seven bumper stickers, six Ponting problems, five drinking games, four random reviews, three ways to get rich, too many beers and a bright shiny new crowbar.