Not much has happened in the NRL this week, with just the business-as-usual Broncos players stepping down from leadership duties, Broncos players being stood down for breaching COVID restrictions at a pub, Broncos players being fined down for breaching COVID restrictions at an RSL - and a fucking terrible one at that, Broncos players banned for involvement with outlaw bikie gangs, Broncos players breaking their legs, Broncos players looking to change clubs, Broncos players looking to change sports, Broncos coaches seeking legal advice for extra-marital insinuations on Twitter, and Broncos fans setting fire to their jerseys outside the club headquarters. Thanks for spending $180 on a jersey, fuckwit. I know you're just going to go out and buy another one.
According to the bubble outside of Brisbane, other things happened too: mid-season player swaps, drops, retirements and signings, with the big news that coach Paul McGregor has finally been given his marching orders from St George, just as the club was starting to actually perform quite well. As the old saying goes, good players don't always make good coaches, and in this case, average players make even more average coaches. You will be missed, mostly by Corey Norman, whose career seemingly relied on you being in charge at the Dragons.
Round 14:
Sydney Roosters vs Melbourne Storm
Two of the league's heavyweights square-off to kick start the round in explosive fashion. Unfortunately in the case of this metaphor, both heavyweights are missing their arms and the Roosters only have the use of one leg, and the Melbourne boxer is drunk and has quite limited vision. What an exciting match-up this one will be.
NZ Warriors vs Penrith Panthers
The Panthers have officially hit their peak form, and put together a near-perfect first half last week to announce it. The Warriors will do well to lose this one by 40.
Parramatta Eels vs St George Dragons
Parra slithered home in the wettest game of the year last week, and will hope to put together a solid game against a steadily-improving-but-still-a-bit-shit Dragons team. What better way to send out coach Paul McGregor than a valiant 42-8 loss?
Cronulla Sharks vs Gold Coast Titans
Who would have thought that the Titans would be the most successful Queensland club in 2020? Not me, and I doubt even the Titans players' mums would have thought so either. It could be the coach, the new rules to encourage free-flowing play, or the threat of incoming players next year that have given the Gold Coast the incentive they need to actually play footy. PS. I'm tipping the Sharks anyway.
North Queensland Cowboys vs South Sydney Rabbitohs
Oh Cowboys, what happened to you? You used to be so adequate - mediocre, even. I'd go so far as to say "almost satisfactory". Souths are threatening to put together a full 80-minute performance, and they might as well give it a crack against these numpties. This one could blow out pretty badly, I reckon. Even Latrell Mitchell might do something.
Canberra fucking Raiders go you good things vs Brisbane Broncos
The Broncos have been hard at training at the leagues club, slapping the pokies and sinking schooeys in preparation for this one. I don't want to say that this game is a foregone conclusion, but the Broncos have already written their apology to their fans and members for their poor showing. It reads similarly to the last 12 weeks. The Raiders have focused heavily on their defense this year; I think we're going to see their offensive flair kick in this weekend. I have my tissues ready.
Newcastle Knights vs Manly Sea Eagles
Newy bounced back last week with a pretty decent win, while the Manlies continued to struggle and went down like $2 hookers again. All I'm hearing coming out of Manly is "wait til we get Turbo back!" Fucking hell, if your team relies on a broken fullback this much, maybe you should have signed one with legs that work.
Wests Tigers vs Canterbury Bulldogs
And this is the way we end the round. Nicely scheduled, NRL. By this stage of the weekend, everyone has their Sunday night "oh fuck off, Monday" face on, so why not put this dross on for the rugby league faithful to well-and-truly cap off the weekend and make us wonder if the AFL might be worth a watch instead?
I'm expecting eighteen of these tries on Saturday night. No pressure, Raiders.
No comments:
Post a Comment