NRL 2018 - Round 10

Sorry to everyone who’s been hanging out for my wit and wisdom over the last few weeks – I was off fighting crime in another dimension and couldn’t get to the blog.  You can just assume that everything I picked happened and all of my insights were well thought out and accurate. 

Not much has changed in the NRL since my last post – the Sharks are still underwhelming, the Roosters even more so, the Raiders are showing faint signs of life and the Broncos are still massive losers.  Not on the field, just in general.

It’s that time of the year when whispers around State of Origin teams start to get a bit louder, which is great for those of us who are shit at Chinese Whispers.  To be honest, I haven’t been involved in Chinese Whispers since I was about 6, and said the word “picnic” out loud to the class instead of whispering into Nicole Annette’s ear like I should have.   So far both Origin camps have suggested a couple of strange options, including Darius "Worst Player in the League" Boyd, and Sam "Second Worst Player in the League" Thaiday.  Both players are lucky to still have jobs for the Broncos this year, with Darius still having issues with his allergies to the ball and a morbid fear of other players, and Sam counting down the days until he can take over Beau Ryan’s spot on The Footy Show. 

To be honest, both of these guys could probably get a run and QLD would still find a way to win, seeing as NSW’s biggest conundrum is whether to pick James “Teddy” Tedesco or Tom “I’m Going to Fuck Up the Spelling of This” Trbojevic as fullback.  Both are halfway decent, which is about as much of a compliment as I will ever give either of them, but will have basically absofuckinglutely no impact on whether or not their team will win.

Round 10

Wests Tigers vs Nth Queensland Cowboys

Can we say that the Tigers’ honeymoon is officially over yet?  They produced their worst effort of the season last week as they let in 30 points, which is kind of exactly how I kind of pictured their entire year to go.  With the Cows flying high after definitely not losing last week, my tip is for this game to be fucking terrible.

Newcastle Knights vs Penrith Panthers

I reckon Newy can get up against a Penriff outfit decimated by injuries.  Did you know that the word “decimate” actually means to kill one in every ten as a punishment?  There you go.  Don’t misuse the word like I did. 

Canterbury Bulldogs vs Parramatta Eels

Dust off your “Who Gives A Fuck?” stamp. 

NZ Warriors vs Sydney Roosters

I just don’t rate the Roosters, and I will definitely write about why not in next week’s blog, if I remember. 

Melbourne Storm vs Gold Coast Titans

The Storm will be super pissed about losing last week and will be looking to take it out on a second-rate footy team.  Oh look, it’s the Titans.  Good luck, dickheads.

Manly Sea Eagles vs Brisbane Broncos

I would watch a TV show based on the 2018 season for Manly.  It would involve an overpaid giraffe, an unlikeable young fat lemur, Trent Barrett and a whole lot of tears. 

South Sydney Rabbitohs vs St George Dragons

After coming off a big win against a premiership contender last week, the Dragons might come into this game a bit relaxed, which is fine because it’s only the Rabbits. 

Canberra Fucken Raiders vs Cronulla Cheating Sharks

WOO RAIDERS GO YOU GOOD THINGS just keep sending your big guys running towards Moylan and kick everything at Edrick Lee.  That’s your game plan, stick to it, put in 110%, come away with the two points, look forward to next week and thanks to Mitre 10 and Channel 9 and it’s my gran’s birthday, so happy birthday gran. 

How to beat the Storm:  punch Cam Smith in the balls and run right past.