Each weekend, roughly 110% of Australians go to their nearest Bunnings Warehouse to pick up extension cords, drill bits and a sausage.
On Saturday, I visited the Tuggeranong Bunnings store and sampled the food presented to me by the Katz Netball club.
Location:
Bunnings Warehouse, Tuggeranong ACT
Time:
Around 1:00ish
Weather:
Pissing down rain
The sausage itself was cooked well, with just the right amount of burnt skin on the outside to identify itself as "not raw." Unfortunately for the Katz Netball club, this is where the praise ends. The sausage itself was obviously from a bulk-buying supermarket, as the meat itself lacked flavour. If anything, the sausage benefited from being a Bunnings snag, as it absorbed at least some flavour from the 7,000 sausages that had gone before it on the previous weekend.
The onion tasted like it had been taken from the frozen section at Coles, and then had all of the elements of onion removed. It was nicely burnt though, but did not have any flavour; a fact made more pronounced by the sparing amount provided by what I could only guess was the team's Wing Defence. Is there an onion shortage at Katz Netball?
The bread was standard white - it did not try to fancy itself up with grains or hidden fibre, and was soft enough to not lose a molar on the crust, but adequately firm that the sausage grease didn't melt a hole in the centre.
The sauces provided by Katz were the traditional tomato and barbecue flavoured; they were still full enough by the time I got there that they didn't squeeze out that slightly yellow, tomato-flavoured water that comes with tomato sauce bottles. While it would have been nice to have the option to add mustard to my sausage, it was not a deal breaker for me.
The barbie itself appeared to be run quite well, despite the downpour of rain. On closer inspection though, the girl taking orders possibly could have been encouraged to speak, as she required an off-sider to give the orders to the person in charge of handling sausages and onion; a system that failed twice as I waited for my tasteless, cardboard sausage and a smattering of faux-onion.
What I want from a Bunnings sausage is flavour, flavour, flavour. I want to sit in my car and eat my snag, with sauce dripping from the end and pooling into the complimentary napkin. I then want to be so happy with that sausage that I consider raiding the ashtray and checking under the car seats for more coins so I can buy another one. This was not one of those days.
All in all, it wasn't a very pleasurable Bunnings experience from Katz Netball, and I give them a pretty average score of 4/10.
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