the water still beads

Whenever I'm washing my car and my neighbour pulls into his parking spot, there's a scientific certainty that I can predict the future, as soon as I see the big, dumb grin that spreads across his face and he tries to pretend it's not there. I know that he's excited. I know that he has been waiting for this moment. He takes the shopping out of his car and walks past me. I give him my best obligatory nod of greeting. He gets exactly three steps past me, and then he just cannot contain it any more. It comes out like a pent-up secret that he's been keeping for years. "You can do mine next!" "Go fuck yourself... Neighbour. Whatever the fuck your name is." And that, your Honour, is exactly how it happened.