Why does this round start on a
Thursday? It confuses me. Is it because of the cricket going on in
England? Is it the election on
Saturday? Is it just to piss me off so I
watch football on Thursday night so it feels like Friday night and then then
next day is really uncomfortable because it feels like it should be Saturday,
but it’s actually Friday and then there’s more Friday night football on and
then I feel like I’ve had a quasi-Groundhog Day?
In any case… WHAT A WEEK OF RUGBY LEAGUE. Most of it was due to the fact that the AFL
ballsed up a lot, by taking drugs and setting fire to dwarves as part of an end-of-year celebration,
painting Australian athletes in a very pretty light.
And then there’s Blake Ferguson,
doing his best to ensure that league players are taken seriously.
James Maloney from the Roosters seems to be a bit
of a dick too. Ripping a player’s shoe off and piffing itinto the crowd is just fucking stupid. I
don’t give a shit about crowd safety, or even player safety – it’s just fucking
stupid. But then, NRL players should
probably learn how to tie their shoelaces a bit better. With double knots.
Round 26
Six teams have secured their spot in the top
eight with four others left to battle it out for the two remaining spots.
Exciting, no? Well, kind of, if you discount the fact that
a lot of the games this weekend are basically dead rubbers, and going to be played
for pride, to finish the season on a positive note, to try and impress a new
sponsor, team or coach. And the rest…
well they’re just fucking around until they get a chance to lock a clown in a car and drive it off a cliff on Mad Monday.
The Dogs should win
against the Broncos, but the result means dick all for both teams. Canterbury will be in the finals, Brisbane
won’t. TEARS FOR BRISBANE (but not
really).
I’m tipping the
Bunnies to beat the Roosters and take out the minor premiership. I don’t rate the Chooks this year – they have
been able to destroy bottom eight teams, but when they’re up against good
opposition, they are revealed for what they really are: a bit shit.
In true Sonny Bill Williams form, he’s still deciding whether to play or
not, or if he’s just a bit scared of playing someone good.
Warriors need to
beat the Dragons, which they should, but then they also need a couple of
results to go their way to avoid being knocked out of the finals. There’s not a whole lot else to say about
this game, other than both teams were a bit shit. Especially St George.
If the Storm don’t
beat the Titans, I’m going to kick someone in the dick, and without giving it
away, it will be Billy Slater. Those
fucking fucks keep losing, and it’s kind of annoying me because I want them to
play in the grand final. And then
lose.
Cowbs to knock over
the Tigers, who must be pretty happy that their season is finally fucking
over. Although the way they’ve been
playing this year, they looked like they were over it by round 4.
Manly should win in
a useless match against Penrith, which won’t stop Geoff Toovey from having a
good complain about the game, the refs, the opposition, the crowd, the
advertising signage, Tom Waterhouse, how shit Underbelly is, black jelly beans,
Ashton Kutcher and battered savs.
Penrith should take the field after drinking a lot of beer and just go
to town on the Eagles. Fuck it, it
hasn’t been a great year for the Panthers, and next year’s recruits probably
aren’t going to bring a lot more to the table.
The Knights will
beat the Eels. Congratulations, Knights. You’ve done what everyone can do. The difference is that you will do it with a
Gidley.
Broncos vs Bulldogs
Rabbitohs vs Roosters
Dragons vs Warriors
Storm
vs Titans
Cowboys vs Tigers
Sea Eagles vs Panthers
Knights vs Eels
Game of the Round
Raiders vs Sharks
I would probably forfeit this
game if I was a Raiders player. Maybe
that’s why I’m not a Raiders player?
Probably. Cronulla have basically
had the same thought, and are resting their entire playing roster. Todd Carney’s not even going to play. There is absolutely no reason to attend this
match.
Canberra can’t find half of their
team, the Sharks aren’t even going to bother taking most of theirs, so this
game should just be abandoned and Bruce Stadium should be filled with kittens
instead. At least it’ll be more entertaining
for the Raiders faithful.
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