In days of yore during Canberra ’s youth
A hero was born who fought for
truth
The outlaw man from the Charny
Wood,
He went by the name of Robbo
Hood.
Robbo would take from the rich to
give to the poor
To buy himself a new
Commodore.
He'd laugh and smoke and
have a drink
All on his ten weekly cheques from
Centrelink.
He worked himself hard to stay on
the dole
Keep unemployed, that was his
goal.
His front yard had three cars all
up on blocks
And if he had’ve went to school,
it’d be the one of Hard Knocks.
One afternoon (and eighty bucks)
down at Charny Labes,
Robbo made an adversary; people
still talk of him today.
A member of the constabulary, one
Sherif Nottingham
Hit our hero where it hurt, right
in the SS sedan.
Robbo loved that car more than
his life
More than he loved his first, third
and current/pending ex-wife.
He bought it from a bloke from the
Griffith flats
And he takes it every year to the
Summernats.
It had a bumper sticker saying “My other car’s a Commodore”
And his other car was; that’s
what he bought the sticker for.
The engine was noisy and the
muffler so fucked
You couldn't tell if the tape
deck was playing ‘Dirty Deeds’ or ‘Thunderstruck’.
Robbo’s feud with the law began on
the day
That he decided to put on a
burnout display
When his interest in the cricket
match on telly had waned
As soon as the fielding restrictions took place.
So onto the streets Robbo did go
With his band of merry men following
in tow;
There was Little Johnno, Billy S, and Mr Brian Tuck
Not to mention the Maiden Mazza,
who Robbo wanted to fuck.
With his old Jim Beam singlet, faded
tatts, mullet and rat’s tail
He looked like a Greek god, an
Adonis, or a guy escaped from jail.
And who would have thought just a
month after this
They’d be married, pregnant, and
living with her mum and his kids?
But back to the story of Robbo
Hood that’s at hand
That spread through Canberran
folklore, from Amaroo to Banks
The tale of one man’s stand
against law
You want Robbo to win, but you’re
not sure why for.
Robbo’s hooned-up Commodore
started circling in smoke
Covering the streets of Charny in
a hazy, blue-grey cloak
And soon the siren sound of
Constable Nottingham’s car
Could be heard above the squeal
of Robbo’s burning rubber.
Nottingham stepped out and
approached the tinted window,
“Sir, would you kindly turn down
your radio crescendo?”
Robbo seethed as his shaking
hands turned down the volume knob
Before turning his attention back
to this fun-policing cop.
“Sir, you are drunk & driving with miscreant intention.
I also don’t think this is a legally modified engine.
Your doughnut burnout marks are plain for all to see,
And I know for a fact that you
lost your license last week.”
And with that speech, Nottingham
handed a list of violations
That Robbo had racked up on just this single occasion.
At this point, Robbo wished that
his teeth had aligned
As he would have enjoyed having something
to grind.
“That’s unfair!” Mazza screeched, while slugging cans of Jim Beam.
“Bloody oath,” they all chimed
in; consensus agreed.
“Wasn’t hurtin anyone,” Robbo
said, and threw the ticket out.
“That fuckin cop doesn’t know
what he’s talking about.”
From that point on, it always
seemed to be
When Robbo’s men were having
fun illegally,
Nottingham was there to get in
the way
Issuing tickets to spoil the day.
Like when Robbo went to watch the
Canberra Raiders
As well as the time he saw the
Brumbies v Crusaders.
Robbo was too pissed to walk
through the gate
So trying to climb the fence was
his initial mistake.
“Iss not fair I can’t afford to
get into the game!”
Robbo slurred to Nottingham has
he tried to explain.
“Spent all me moneys at the Tavs
and the Inns.
And the Labes and the RSL and the
pub. Oh, and Sinnies.”
“Get out of here, Robbo,”
Nottingham decreed,
Ignoring the fact that Rob was
also carrying weed.
Although not illegal in
Australia’s capital,
The ‘decriminalised’ defence is
far from infallible.
“I’ll get you fuckin coppers,”
Robbo Hood swore his oath.
And he tried all the time, but he
never got close.
Robbo continued to try and recover
his pride.
“Come on now Rob, just pay your
fine.”
And that is the story of how
Canberra’s legend began
A battle for the ages, of sticking
it to the man.
So to the Robbo’s of Charnwood,
Ainslie and Kaleen
My hat’s off to you for MEBCAM
2013.
1 comment:
Owesome!
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