Honestly,
Benji, you need to take yourself a bit more seriously. I mean, you’re a football player. That is your profession. Don’t be modest, tiger, being a football
player is a really important job. You
really shouldn’t make your decision to stop playing football so lightly; I
mean, fuck man, the world just won’t be the same without you playing football
professionally.
Here’s
some news for you, Benji “Ethan Hawke” Marshall – as a general rule, everyone
fucking hates their job. Not many people
get paid to fuck around on a field for 80 minutes a week, while spending the
rest of their week at the gym, going to footy training and playing video
games. If you’re sick of the politics of
being the top commodity in someone else’s organisation and want to keep your
integrity, go and sort mail in the basement of a new business. Go and cook burgers for minimum wage. Learn a trade. Become useful.
Last
Friday night, the Tigers were beaten by the Warriors 24-14 in Benji Marshall’s
final home-ground appearance. The crowd
was respectful to Benj, who obviously like him a whole lot more than I do (it’s
not hard though, to be perfectly Francis).
I guess even a (very small) part of me wanted Benji to do something in the game, but as time
ticked by, he kept trying new and spectacular things to no avail. And here’s why – no one knew what the fuck he
was doing out there… including Benji.
When his flick-passes and behind-the-back shenanigans work, it’s not
just because of Benji; it’s because his teammates are reading the play and
running the right lines. When he just
starts throwing 40-metre cut-out passes without looking and hoping to fuck that
his winger is just there to run onto
it, it’s horrible. And while Benji is
undoubtedly a good player, I think the Tigers will be better off with someone
else in the play-maker’s number six jersey.
But
that’s just me, and I’m a bitter man.
Round 20
Cowboys vs Broncos
Bulldogs vs Eels
Titans
vs Rabbitohs
Warriors
vs Storm
Sharks vs Panthers
Knights
vs Roosters
Tigers
vs Sea Eagles
A
couple of headaches this week with a whole lot of shit teams playing each
other, namely Brissy and the Cowboys.
I’m going for the Cowboys, simply because you have to go for someone,
and they’ll do.
The
Rabbits should bounce back from last week’s shock loss… Inglis is still out
with a mystery knee injury that could keep him out for another few weeks – if
Souths are actually struggling to win games because their fullback is missing,
they should probably rethink the other twelve idiots on the field.
Everyone
else blah blah blah, shouldn’t throw up too many surprises, but it probably
will anyway. I’m still not sure how the
Eels are still getting Friday night games televised every week.
Game
of the week
Dragons
vs Raiders
The
St George Dragons recently signed young Raiders halfback Sam Williams, bringing
the total number of ex-Canberrans donning the Red V up to seven. I guess buying an entire club’s players is one
way to break a sporting hoodoo, but it’s probably not the best way.
This
week is the first chance that the Raiders will have to play against
disgraced/disgraceful ex-player Josh Dugan.
It will also be the first reunion of Blake Ferguson and Josh Dugan
following a night that got Fergo booted from the NSW Origin side, dropped from
the Raiders and kind of arrested. I
would love to give ol’ Blakey the benefit of the doubt and say that the weekend
will pass by without incident, but I don’t actually think that will happen, and
Mr Ferguson will be joining Benji Marshall in the dole queue next Monday.
As
for the actual outcome of the match, I think Duges will try too hard (also like
Benji) in proving that he was hard done by when he was released by the Raiders, and MY GOD I
hope that story is true when it says that he won’t be welcome to have a beer
with them after the game. Sometimes
people just need to sit back and reflect on their decisions in life. Like in Return of the Jedi, when Jabba the
Hutt is strangled to death by Princess Leia, he probably thought, “I wish I
hadn’t have picked her to be a slave.”
Similarly, Josh Dugan will hopefully say to a closed Raiders’ dressing
room door in front of him, “I wish I wasn’t such a fuckwit.”
Raiders
by 13, because I love field goals.
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