On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Four Steps to Order a Pizza

Step 1.  Ring pizza place.

Step 2.  Say, “Hi, I’d like to order a pizza.”

Step 3.  Realise you’re a dickhead and hang up.

Step 4.  Ring up again a few minutes later and put on a different voice so the pizza guy doesn’t think that you’re the same dickhead who rang earlier for “a pizza.”

Works every time.