It’s about this time of year that
the NRL world stops following the game and concentrates on one thing: State of Origin.
Those three fucking games in the middle of the year that create split
rounds that cause headaches for coaches and punters that Queensland invariably
win in any case don’t just dominate headlines, they overtake the whole fucking
newspaper. Dickheads everywhere (and me)
rub their chins thoughtfully to pick the ultimate team while players everywhere
pledge allegiance to whichever state shows interest in choosing them to be a
possible nineteenth man in a seventeen-man squad.
News this week is that Danny Buderus
has been ruled out of contention due to an Achilles heel issue. To be perfectly Francine, the only person who
would pick Danny Buderus to play for NSW is his mum, and that’s just because
she “doesn’t like the look of that Robbie Farrah – he looks like one of those
Italians.” Danny Buderus’ mum is quite
racist, by the sound of it.
Toddy Carney should be picked as
pivot for the mighty fucking NSW Blues – yes, he is (unfortunately) playing
good football, but it’s more my hope that being given representative
responsibility will cause Toddy to get on the piss, get in a fight, get caught
having sex in an alley with a transsexual prostitute with a wooden leg, shit in
front of a church, steal a car, sideswipe an RBT police van and crash into the
back of a strawberry-scented glow-in-the-dark dildo delivery truck.
In news away from all things Blue
and Purple, embattled Parramatta coach Steve “Ghost Chips” Kearney has been
forced to bring his star signing Chris Sandow back into the team after dropping
him for being a bit rubbish over the opening few rounds. I’m sure being a professional coach of a
professional sports team filled with professional athletes and having
professional assistant coaches and professional tacticians offer their
professional advice is professionally hard, but if Kearney was going to drop
players for being shit, I’d be next in line to strap on my boots for the Eels
this week. Strangely, the decision to
replace ordinary players with worse ones didn’t work, so Sandow finds himself
back in the firing line this week. And
fuck it, the Eels paid about a trillion dollars to buy him from Souths, so they
might as well use him. Otherwise it
would be like buying a movie ticket and opting to go to the pub instead.
Round Nine:
Parramatta Eels vs Bulldogs
North Queensland Cowboys vs St George-Illawarra Dragons
New Zealand Warriors vs Brisbane Broncos
Gold Coast Titans vs Wests Tigers
Penrith Panthers vs Melbourne Storm
Sydney Roosters vs Newcastle Knights
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Sharks
Game of the Round:
Manly Sea Eagles vs Canberra Raiders
So I went to the Raiders’ game
last weekend, and I bought a bucket of “hot” chips for $5 and a sachet of sauce
for 30 cents. That was my highlight;
paying thirty cents for tomato sauce. I’m
not going to Brookvale Oval this weekend to savour the condiments that Manly
are offering up.
The Roosters have boosted their front row with the signing of an Isuzu ute
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