dog eat dogfood

As I sit here and toss scraps of food to the flocking pigeons that coo and warble me, I think, “How did these pigeons get into the office?” And then, “Why did I bring scraps of food with me?” And then, “Why is the photocopier jammed?” And so I train one of my pigeons to fix the photocopier, and he does, and gets a promotion and his own office and soon becomes head of the company, and doesn’t even want my scraps of food anymore. I should probably stop carrying them around.