Tuesday, January 31, 2006
it's crazy what you could've had
Kevin the cowboy had tamed a thousand wild horses in his day, but never before had he seen a beast quite like this. Four legs of ferocious energy, eyes than burned like tortured souls in the pits of hell, and a temper from the eye of a storm. Kevin and the horse circled each other. He nervously chewed a stick of bubblegum, sweat trickled down his back, and his legs were shaking in frightened anticipation as he tried to concentrate purely on the savage animal in front of him. It was hard to do, as one question echoed through his mind: Why was this horse wearing his pants?
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I just realised that I used the word "pants" in consecutive postings. I think I have some underlying issues regarding my daks. My new year's resolution is to give up saying "pants" or using pants as a conversation starter. I think it can cheapen a conversation when all you can talk about is the price of pants, the quality of your pants compared to the pants around you, which celeb is wearing which pants, the origins of the word pants, trousers, daks and slacks, and which pants I am contemplating wearing tomorrow. It's a disgusting habit, this pants business. Don't think you can escape it. Oh yeah, I used to think like you. "I won't get addicted." Like hell. Look at me now. I hang around General Pants just to read the sign out front. I go to garden shops and squint at signs that say "PLANTS" cause through clenched eyes, it looks a little like "pants". It's time to clean up, say no and just choose life. Nah fuck it, I'll just choose pants. It's way easier.
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