In any case, we’re up to
motherfucking round 21 in the NRL for 2014.
Seriously. And here’s me just
thinking, “It’s ok, there’s still heaps of time to win games and sneak into the
finals.” Apparently there’s not that
much time. And apparently for the
Raiders and the Sharks, they just fucking can’t. It’s officially a battle for the wooden spoon
from here on in, which is always fun.
Fuck it, if you can’t win the whole comp, better fight for your life to
stay off the very bottom.
To be honest, the Raiders will
probably win the coveted last place prize this year, and there would be few to
say they don’t deserve it. Let’s take
into account the Cronulla Sharks, who have had a fairly fucking dreadful time
of it this year: they’ve had their coach
suspended and every player under suspicion for drug peddling, had no major
sponsor, were struck down by injuries as if it were biblical, and then were
forced to sack their only good player because he took photos of himself pissing
into his own mouth.
Seriously, if a team can cop that
and still manage to win a handful of games, they don’t fucking deserve to come
last. The Raiders on the other hand,
seem like they’re trying to lose: they
swapped an unsuccessful coach for the MOST unsuccessful coach, bought players
that didn’t want to come to the team, held onto players who wanted to leave,
were reluctant to rest players who were out of form and kept the one-way road to St
George well and truly open.
I love the Raiders a lot, and
will never stop supporting them. But
fucking hell, boys. You’re making it a
bit hard sometimes. When you drop the
ball more times than a team with four Burgesses playing in it, you know
something’s not quite right. When the
player who has scored more tries than anyone else in the comp receives the ball
four times in the game (and scores on one of those occasions), there’s
something wrong. I would love to say
that Ricky Stuart has some work to do in the off-season to get the team
prepared for next year, but I don’t know if Ricky actually knows what to do to
get a successful team on the field. His
last successful foray in coaching was with the Sydney Roosters back in 2000 and
fuck-knows, of a team consisting of Fittler, Fitzgibbon, Fletcher, Minichello,
Hodges, Mullins, Cayless, Morley, Crocker and Ricketson. It probably wasn’t the hardest team to get
across the line, just quietly. Then he
was given charge of the Australian team, who quickly and unceremoniously
relinquished their kung-fu grip on the Rugby League World Cup for the first
time since kung-fu grip was a thing. Maybe any win he actually has is just a massive fluke?
Ok, I’ve had a drink and I’m calm
again now.
In other news, NRL super
commentator Ray “Rabs” Warren has just released his autobiography, and in
keeping to strict Channel 9 protocol, has managed to do some cross classic promotion. You can buy “The Voice” fromany Westfield shopping centre that the Voice contestants might be appearing at. It is yet to be announced whether you get free KFC or a Big Bang Theory DVD with each purchase, so tune into this week's Block reveal for further details.
On the field, the Broncos have finally almost declared that their
collection of fullbacks is nearly complete, as the 2015 roster has no less than
four already on the books. Next year
will see Ben Barba, Josh Hoffman, Anthony Milford and UK Super League recruit Greg Eden line up in the
number one jersey, with Darius Boyd looking to make it a classic five-man
effort as he tries to follow coach Wayne Bennett after announcing that he’s
dropping a struggling Knights team to pick up a slightly-less-struggling
Broncos outfit. Bennett’s next plan will
be to sign at least one forward.
Round 21:
Two scratchers this week – I’m
tipping St George to upset the Roosters, who are playing as if they want to
move to Canberra at the moment. If they
keep losing to shit-house teams, they might just find Ricky Stuart back at
training.
The other “hmmm” game for me is
the Sharks vs the Eels, but that’s probably because I keep thinking that the
battle between Jarryd Hayne and Andrew Ettinsghausen will be worth the price of
admission alone, before I realise that ET probably retired before Hayne was
born. Just ignore me, it’s been a long
week.
Sydney Roosters vs St George Illawarra Dragons
Nth Queensland Cowboys vs Gold Coast Titans
Cronulla Sharks vs Parramatta Eels
Manly Sea Eagles vs Brisbane Broncos
Canterbury Bulldogs vs Penrith Panthers
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Newcastle Knights
Wests Tigers vs Melbourne Storm
Game of the Round
Canberra Raiders vs New Zealand Warriors
The Warriors will reportedly be
without my current man-crush Shaun Johnson, which has given Canberra fans the
hope that they might not lost by quite as much this time. The last time these two teams played, the
Kiwis notched up a half-century, and I hate to say that I don’t expect it to be
too much different this weekend.
Sorry Raiders. You know I love you.
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