Lucky for some, unlucky for Beau
Ryan, Round 13 is upon us, and it’s another cluster fuck of a round to
tip. The fallout from the first State of
Origin game is still affecting the NRL world through injuries, but also through the possibility of fringe players pushing for a place in the Blue & Maroon sides. You know when people start looking at Josh
Dugan as a replacement for Josh Morris, it’s anyone’s game. They should probably consider looking at a
replacement player with a different Christian name as well, but we’ll get
there. I think my favourite part of
State of Origin I was listening to the great Ray “Rabs” Warren calling the
game, with such gems as “Slater down the touchline, comes to one of the Morris
brothers, and the other Morris brother is there to finish the tackle.” At least the Morrises did the right thing by
both getting injured. Hopefully Dugan has
a brother that he can bring in too.
Laurie “I’m Totes the Coach”
Daley has even suggested putting Jarryd Hayne in the centre position, which I
think is just fucking stupid. Hayne is
arguably the best player in the world right now (“arguably” is a great word to
use – I am “arguably” the world’s best writer and NRL tipper, although it
honestly wouldn’t be much of an argument), and needs to get his hands on the
ball in the open space that the fullback position allows. The centre combinations in the first game
might as well not have even been there – Greg Inglis’ contribution to football
was overshadowed only by the non-existence of Michael Jennings. Keep Hayne in the #1, and stop being
dickheads.
Round 13
This week I’m being ballsy (and
handsome) and picking a few upsets to go along with the standard “oh fucking
hell I just don’t know what to do why is this so fucking hard and why do I care
this much and yes I’d love another beer if it’s your shout thanks man I think I
left my wallet at home oh this in my pocket yeah that’s a different wallet”
thing that I normally do.
I don’t rate Manly’s chances
against the Doggies, and I don’t think Daly Cherry-Evans will ever be a
competitive top-level player at State or International level. THERE.
I said it. I think he’s a good
player, but I reckon he should be happy with his place at Manly. He should also get a new hairdresser.
I’m tipping the Cowboys because
Parra were disgraceful last week and just because Hayne is returning this week,
I don’t think it will be enough. The
Titans and the Panthers can both go fuck themselves, and I’m tipping the Titans
but I’m also thinking of changing my mind about that but I’ll probably leave it
and forget about it. Dragons vs Sharks
should be free entry, honestly. There’s
no way that anyone would bother going to see them play at the moment. I reckon the Warriors will upset an unstable
Rabbitohs outfit – I don’t know what they put in the water in England (not
fluoride) that makes people’s heads massive and their hands turn into Teflon,
but they should probably stop it.
The amount of dropped ball from the Burgess brothers is fucking
astounding and in the words of Geoff Toovey, there needs to be an investigation.
There doesn’t, but it would be kind of fun to do.
Manly Sea Eagles vs Canterbury Bulldogs
Parramatta Eels vs Nth Queensland Cows
Gold Coast Titans vs Penrith Panthers
St George Illawarra vs Dragons vs Cronulla Sharks
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs New Zealand Warriors
Newcastle Knights vs Wests Tigers
Melbourne Storm vs Sydney Roosters
Game of the Round
Canberra Raiders vs Brisbane Broncos
The Raiders went from having
three new prospective rep players coming into the team on Monday, to having none of
them by Tuesday and a handful of their current players “speaking” (signing) to “other
clubs” (St George) by Wednesday. I don’t know why the
Dragons have such a massive boner for Raiders players – I guess they just
target the team who is slightly less shit than they are and then get all of
their players. By 2017 they should have
the entire green machine on their books, and then in 2018 they can start to
look at buying players from the Titans or the Tigers. I’d say by the 2042 season, they’ll have
successfully amoeba’d their way up the ladder to resemble to 2041 Manly
team. And you know that will be an ugly,
ugly team.
I can’t see the Raiders scraping
together a win this week, unless the bitter cold of Monday night football in
the nation’s capital works its wonders to literally freeze the tits off the
Broncos players who will all have to be taken to hospital with man-boob-frostbite
(it’s not pretty – don’t Google it).
Brissy smashed the shit out of the Sea Eagles last week, and the Raiders
put in one of their best performances of the season last week to go down to the
Roosters by about 20, so… yeah. Bring on
the cold nipples, I say.
It took me way too long to understand what was happening in this photo than I want to admit. And yes, that does seem to be Steve Matai making a clean tackle. Well... cleanish.