NRL 2011 Round Three: He Who Scores More Wins the Game

Round Three is upon us, which traditionally happens the week after Round Two. It’s one of those natural parts of life, I guess, like waking up after you’ve been sleeping on your arm and not being able to feel it or roll over and you have to punch it with your other arm until it tingles and circulation returns.

Eels vs Rabbitohs (I have to get it right eventually)

Titans vs Broncos

Panthers vs Sharks

Warriors vs Dragons

Bulldogs vs Roosters

Sea Eagles vs Knights

Cowboys vs Storm

Tigers vs Raiders

Motherfucking Raiders. Last week’s game was kind of horrible to watch, but I did manage to get a pie and some beers at the game, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time for me. The players obviously had other things to do than turn up and play, which is fine. I think Deuce Bigalow was on telly, so that’s a decent excuse. I especially like the scene where Deuce attacks the army of midget prostitutes with a giant black dildo.

This week, the Mighty Green Machine is up against the Tigers, the team that knocked our boys out of certain premiership glory last year. The experts will look at the more fancied Canberra forwards to overcome the Tigers pack, but the Tigers backs have more experience to outclass the Raiders backline, but in the end it all comes down to the uniform. Canberra’s green jerseys will blend in more with the field and allow them to launch a few surprise attacks. Raiders by 3 in a tight one that they probably won’t deserve to win.

Brett Mullins. Isn't he beautiful? (yes) Photo used without permission and definitely for free.

MEB cumulative score: 5 (yes, really).