Round Eight? Holy shit.
Time flies when you’re hanging out with Greg Bird. One day you’re there on the Gold Coast,
chilling with the Titans, just doing Gold Coast Titans kinds of
things, and the next thing you know, you’re waking up naked in a small boat on its
way to Puerto Rico. It’s not easy
managing international travel without pants, you know.
Speaking of the Titans, did you
know that between the end of the 2014 season and before the start of the 2015 season, six players were arrested or charged by police? That’s not even counting the ones that got
pinged for minor offences, or the ones that were, you know, caught in a cocaine
trafficking racket.
It doesn’t even include Kevin
Gordon, who, while it may seem that he’s not doing anything wrong here, it
surely can’t be, you know, 100% legal.
But it’s not all bad news for both
of the Titans fans, as the team is showing some surprisingly good form this
year, which in no way coincides with half the club being involved in the
possession and distribution of class-A stimulants.
So what else is going on in the
NRL this year? Well, after three rounds, Souths had (according the Ray Warren, the voice and doyen of rugby league) “forgotten
how to lose.” Then they were quickly
reminded, and by the way they’ve been playing lately, may have even forgotten
how to win.
So it doesn’t look like he’s
favouring one team, Rabs has also fucked up the Roosters by shouting their
merits from rooftops, as well as injured both of the Morris brothers for
Canterbury. If I was Jonathon Thurston,
I’d be pretty scared right about now, cos Ray has a massive commentator boner
for him.
But the best news is that the
Manly Sea Eagles find themselves with just one win so far this year, cementing
themselves on the bottom of the NRL ladder.
Manly’s 2015 has so far been decimated by injuries, which, when added to
the infighting that’s going on with club management and their bold decision to
off-load all of their good players (“Let’s hang onto Steve Matai!”) has
produced a fairly lacklustre first couple of games for the Sea Eagles.
Surprise packets have been the
Broncos and the Dragons so far, although I can’t imagine either of them
maintaining their current form for a whole lot longer. The Dragons are relying too much on their
defence to win games and have apparently not bothered with an offensive plan
other than “kick it, close your eyes, cross your fingers and pray really hard.” The Broncos have been gritty so far, but I
think they’re about ten minutes of bad football away from a long and painful
loss of form. Plus, Jack Reed. You can’t have a successful team with that
guy hanging around. Surely. Surely!
ROUND 8
Canterbury Bulldogs vs Wests Tigers
Tedesco is running hot for the
Tigers, so watch him to blow his knee in the opening 10 minutes. The mongers at Canterbury are playing for
contracts and Origin spots, so they’ll be desperate to perform.
New Zealand Warriors vs Gold Coast Titans
Warriors get my tip simply
because they can’t be this shit for this long.
Newcastle Knights vs Nth Queensland Cowboys
Newcastle are equal second. That just doesn’t make sense. Look for Gidley to come out this week and
utterly ruin all of their chances of winning.
Sydney Roosters vs St George Illawarra Dragons
If there’s a test for the Dragons
defence, it’s this game. As long as they
stay patient, they’ll grind to a win.
And it’s always good to see James Maloney look like he’s about to cry
after a loss.
Melbourne Storm vs Manly Sea Eagles
The pressure will really be on Melbourne
not to fuck up the Eagles’ stellar start to the season, but I predict that this
will be the second time in a week that Manly gets flogged by a Storm. Fuck it, Manly are doing so badly that even if they win the next two rounds, they'll still be coming last.
Brisbane Broncos vs Parramatta Eels
The Bronco’s form will no doubt
be set back by the apparent return of Justin Hodges this weekend, but I’m tipping
them to hold on for the win. Parra have
been a bit lucky in the past few games, and… um… I don’t really know much about
Parramatta this season. But apparently
they are definitely playing. Good on
them.
Penrith Panthers vs Cronulla Sharks
Both teams have been hit pretty hard
by injury this year, with the Penny Panthers losing their half-line. Cronulla also lost their star five-eighth in
Ben Barba, which was the best thing that’s happened to the team since Andrew
Ettingshausen. Roll on, Sharkies.
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs Canberra Raiders
With Souths missing Adam
Reynolds, it leaves a big hole in their armour, and will put a heap of pressure
on Luke Keary. The Raiders have found a
new enforcer recently in the form of Iosia Soliola, who has shown this year
that he terrorises the play-makers. If
he digs deep, gives 110% and can get a good, late clean hit on Keary, it will
go a long way into the upset of the round.
Despite that, I’m going for the Bunnies to regain a bit of form and
notch a win this round.
 |
| I'm pretty sure Hodges and Thurston are both worried they're about to be spat on in the next four seconds |
PS. Please forgive the lateness of my reply.
