Dogs die in hot cars

I think technology has come a long way. We used to just have television, but now we have television and couches, and cheese in a tube. What about the times when television wasn't even invented? What would you do while you sat on your couch and ate cheese? No wonder I can't sleep at night.

I was born a unicorn

The flashing blue lights behind him always made Ed nervous. He had done nothing wrong; his seatbelt was fastened, he wasn't speeding, and he hadn't had anything to drink all night. The policeman knocked on the window of Ed's mini. He rolled the window down.
"Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?" the policeman asked, holding his hand out for Ed's license.
"No officer, I have no idea."
The policeman took Ed's license and looked at the photograph. Then he looked at Ed. Then back at the photograph. Satisfied, he handed the license back. The photo of the caterpillar on the license was identical to the caterpillar driving the car.
"Thank you, officer." Ed put the car in gear and drove off, leaving the policeman in his search for justice.
"I'll get you one day, Baron Von Krawl," the policeman seethed through clenched teeth.